So something I forgot to mention when I wrote my review of Zack & Miri Make a Porno is that it also continued the streak of having someone in the theater be a jerk. This time it was a woman who thought it necessary to talk back to the screen, repeating jokes and guessing what would happen next. I gave her the stare, then the shush, but to no avail. She was immune to my powers. I was enjoying the movie too much to make more of a scene so I just let it be. But this is why I hadn't seen a movie in the theater since The Dark Knight and don't plan to head back anytime soon.

I don't know when it started. I'd been going to the movies for years and years and never really had any problems. Maybe it started in Moberly, Missouri. The infamous Panic Room altercation. It was my first real incident of nearly wounding a man in a movie theater. That was the first time I was actively aware of people talking in a theater. Perhaps I lost my magical zoning out abilities that day. Perhaps it happens with age. I'm not sure.

So my proposal is this: I will come back to the movie theater in the name of science. With funding from some kind organization, I will find the source of this menace. I will find out the reason for this vile behavior. Is it genetic? Is it learned over the years? Is it society's fault for letting it continue? Clipboard in hand, the next time someone talks in a theater I will not shush them, I will ask them a series of questions to figure out just what the hell is going on.

Seriously though, I am very curious as to why these people do what they do. I was taught at a very young age that silence is golden. My first real memory of the movies was when my dad took me to see Return of the Jedi on opening night when I was three. In particular, I remember being very frightened during the scene where they are powering up the Death Star to blow up Endor. I was very distraught because that meant they were going to blow up the Ewoks. I could care less about Han and Leia, but I was in love with those furry guys. I remember yelling out something like "No! They'll blow it up!" or something like that. My dad quietly told me that it was not okay to talk during the movie. I obliged and continue to do so to this day. End of story. So what is their story? I'd really like to know.